Wednesday, January 27, 2010

How to turn your cell phone into a landline...

Why would anyone want to do that, right?  I am sure that is what you are thinking.  Picture this.  You're sitting at the computer looking for a spare battery.  Online of course because who would go to the Sprint store and pay double price when somebody in Korea is willing to send it across the world at half-price with free shipping.  So, you're at the computer.,,, and on, and on, and on.  Pick one, you think!  They're all the same.  Just pick one and buy it already.  So you do.  This company will give you ten percent off if you spend five more dollars.  So, excitedly, you select a spare battery charger because that would be a perfect way to keep using your remaining battery juice while charging your brand new one.  You revel in the efficiency you just created as you compare the battery to your old one and make sure it is the right one.  Perfect.  In one week, you'll have a new battery and won't be at the mercy of your phone charger and its sister outlet. 

One week commences and ends and you're so excited to check the mail.  Bills, lame ads, more bills, a book, and finally your battery.  Whoo hoo!  The excitement is enough to disregard the book and jump all over the battery. You run in the house, plug in your new battery charger, and slap that battery in.  It's time for dinner, a little 24, some DVR'd Modern Family...Then, it's time to try out the new battery!!!  Hmmm...the phone won't turn on.  I put in the NEW battery.  And the charger showed green so it must be charged.  The battery looks the same, smells the same, feels the same...Why won't it turn on?  Maybe I'm doing it wrong.  I'll charge it some more and keep using my old battery. Yeah, that's it.  That will fix it.

A little laundry...some dishes...and time to play with your new battery!  In it goes.  The phone STILL won't turn on.  Weird.  What could it be? 

What if I leave the phone plugged into the outlet charger and try the new battery?  It makes no sense but who knows, right?  What?  It turned on!  Why?  Why would it turn on?  Wait...are you telling me that this is a not a chargeable battery?  Do they even make batteries that won't charge?  What's the point--then your CELL PHONE is JUST like a LANDLINE!!!

"You" is a real person.  This is not a fictitious story and is based completely on the facts contained herein.  "You" blames Korea for making such batteries and wishes to let Korea know that such batteries defeat the sheer purpose of a cell phone.  "You" hopes that YOU do not make the same mistake.


  1. hahaha! Great question!! It's not brand new but I saw it in an airport once and told myself to order it. THE GUERNSEY LITERARY AND POTATO PEEL PIE SOCIETY. But you know what I want to order? The Help. Sounds good! Read it?

  2. The Help is great! A quick but engrossing read... The characters are still stuck in my head. The story is un-put-downable.

    I loved The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. I'm not a fan of novels told in letter form so I avoided that one for awhile, but it is so good! Makes me want to join a clandestine literary and pie club (right up my alley, right?).

  3. I didn't get the moral of the story...

  4. and i couldn't be bothered to the read the whole story...seriously a phone charger! that's what you're writing (excuse me 'blogging') about. i think for the first time in our history, i'm officially the cooler sister.

  5. I hope YOU do buy a non-rechargeable battery...

  6. she doesn't get them often, but when she does...